Some years are better than others. Last year, 2017, was one of those ‘other’ years. A combination of global and domestic events in the Porter/Martin household made for a ::ahem:: challenging 365 days. But as my college roommate and I used to say, “That which doesn’t kill you, makes you a better actor.” So every hardship, every set back, I did my very best to be grateful for the opportunity to learn and navigate through a new life experience. I allowed death and loss to shake me out of my rut and quit my day job that afforded me stability but no happiness. I got involved in politics but also learned the importance of balance and mental self-care. I learned that even when things are tough and the road feels impossible, I still don’t want to give up on my dream…and that the only true failure is to stop trying. (That last part I’m still working on “knowing” but, hey, fake it till you make it, right?)

Ok, so blah blah blah. It’s March 7th! What have I been doing for the last two months since I learned all these important lessons last year? Well, I’ve been licking my wounds a bit. But mostly figuring out what it means to not just be ‘mentally surviving’ every day. I’ve been figuring out what things about my life make me happy and what things don’t. If I can change the things that don’t bring me joy, I change them…or at least start thinking about how I could. I’m reacquainting myself with activities and hobbies other than acting that bring me joy. I’ve taken up painting and drawing again. I’m learning how to box. Just trying to keep my joy alive.

Now listen, it sounds like a far more streamlined pursuit because, you know, this blog is social media and all social media is just us posting the best, most unattainable version of ourselves. So I’ve had my very down days where I have no effing idea what the eff I’m doing. But in general, I’ve been able to keep the joyful fire burnin.’ So I guess I’m telling you all this for…what? Accountability, maybe? Or maybe there is a part of me that says ‘if I type this out and make it real I can’t turn back.’ So here’s to me not turning back.